Thoughts create emotions.
This is the foundation of emotional intelligence and something most people are not aware about.
Main implication?
You don’t need to manage your emotions. You only need to manage your thoughts.
However, to manage your emotional states effectively you have to first understand what is it exactly you are feeling - to bring the emotion into the light of your awareness.
Name it to tame it.
The Wheel of Emotions is a tool that will help you identify your emotion, build your vocabulary to describe emotions precisely, and grow your overall EQ.
| Coach yourself: | Write to process:
Writing down your emotions and the circumstances surrounding them will provide clarity and serve as a reference point for future reflection.
Record your thoughts, triggers, physical sensations, and any insights gained from this process. | | --- | --- | | Mindful Observation:
Take a moment to pause and tune into your current emotions without judgment.
What emotions do you currently feel?
Name them and acknowledge their presence without trying to change them. | "As you sit with this emotion, can you explore what it might be trying to tell you or teach you in this moment?” | | Emotion Identification:
Consider the intensity and type of emotion you're experiencing.
Use the Wheel of Emotions. Try to describe it in detail. | "When you consider the specific type and intensity of this emotion, what deeper need or value of yours might it be connected to?” | | Physical Sensations:
Pay attention to how this emotion manifests physically.
Do you notice any tension, changes in breathing, or sensations in specific parts of your body when you experience this emotion?
Where is it located? What are the sensations that it creates? How does the mind react to those physical sensations? | "What do the physical sensations accompanying this emotion indicate about how your body responds to this particular emotional state?” | | Triggers and Context:
Reflect on what might have triggered this emotion. Was it an event, a thought, an interaction, or a memory?
Try to understand the context - it will help you identify patterns and possible triggers for specific emotions. | "Reflecting on what triggered this emotion, can you uncover any past experiences or patterns that might be contributing to this reaction?” | | Underlying Beliefs or Thoughts:
Consider the thoughts or beliefs associated with this emotion.
Are there any recurring patterns in your thinking that contribute to this feeling?
Reverse-engineer your Emotion: Where is it coming from? What exactly are the thoughts that are causing it? | "What thoughts or beliefs seem closely linked to this emotion? How might challenging or reframing these thoughts change your emotional response?” | | Analyze the thoughts deeper:
Where are those thoughts coming from? Why are you thinking what you are thinking? Is there something that is blocking you or drains your energy because it remains unresolved?
| “Physical pain is an indicator that something is wrong with the body. Emotional pain is an indicator that something is wrong within the mind. What does your emotional state point at?” | | Seeking Patterns:
Over time, notice if there are recurring emotional patterns in specific situations or with certain people.
Understanding these patterns can help you anticipate and manage your emotions more effectively. | "When you notice these emotional patterns, how might understanding them better help you navigate similar situations more skillfully in the future?” | | Acceptance and Validation:
It's essential to validate your emotions, regardless of whether they seem rational or not.
Emotions are natural responses to our experiences and hold valuable information about our inner state. | "How can you offer yourself compassion and understanding in this moment, knowing that all emotions, even uncomfortable ones, have a purpose?” |
I didn’t want to recreate the whole tool from scratch Good folks from Calm already did a great job. Let’s just use it.
<aside> 📌 Download PDF here:
</aside>